FINGING FOCUS

Xmas is in the air and all around us so many things happening at the same time. This is festive season friends. Do you ever have one of those days when you just can’t seem to find focus? When you fritter away your time on nothingnesses, distractions, wandering without really doing something important? Or one of those weeks? Fellow Nigerians now is one of those days..
I have those days regularly. I can find myself “working” for several hours, but at the end of those several hours have nothing to show for it. I feel like I’m floating around, with no anchor, no focal point.
So how do we find focus?
Take a step back.
 Back away from the browser and the phone, and give yourself a moment’s space to think.
What do you really want to do right now?
 What’s most important?
What kind of person do you want to be?
Maybe you have 5 things you want to do.
Pick one.
 Subtract.
Once you’re clear, you need to clear everything. Bookmark all your tabs (Cmd-Shift-D in Chrome), quit the browser if you don’t need it or close all open tabs if you do. Close all programs you don’t need. Have only the window/tab open that you absolutely need.
Now sit there with your task.
 Dive in.
Don’t allow yourself to be distracted.
You’ll have the urge to go check something.
That’s a nice urge — just watch it and smile. Don’t act on the urge. Just smile. Now go back to what you chose to do.
Do it for 10 minutes, however long you feel is pushing the boundaries of what’s comfortable for a little bit.
Then give yourself a nice reward: a short walk, some stretches, checking the thing you had the urge to check (but only for 5 minutes), meditation, read a book, or have some tea and remember to say a prayer because the spiritual controls the physical
Now go back.
Repeat. With a smile.

WHERE HAVE OUR MANNERS GONE TO?

I have been off my blog post for awhile. I apologize. I have been doing some researching and I discovered that the youths of his Great Nation Nigeria are just casual about some aspect of mannerism. We can do better, we can be better. Let Wyndy explain:

 

"It was withal a highly polished age,

And scrupulous in ceremonious rite,

When stranger stranger met upon the way,

First each to other bowed respectfully,

And large profession made of humble service."

WE have always admired the Oriental modes of salutation and leave-taking (last weekend I was privileged to observe some Agama lizards interacting and nodding heads) and wished that our language possessed more graceful forms of speech than the plain "How d'ye do?" "How are you?" or "Hope you are well!" which constitute our abrupt salutations.

We do not object to the "Good morning" and "Good evening" handed down to us from our ancestors; these expressions are not unpleasant to the ear -- but the others grate against the sensibilities. In all nations the forms of salutations differ. The Bedouin greets you with : -- "May God grant you a happy morning," or "May God grant you His favors," or "If God wills it, you are well." And placing his right hand upon his bosom, he bows low; but if he addresses a person of very high rank, he bows nearly to the ground and kisses the hem of his garment. The Egyptian, according to Herodotus, salutes you with "How do you perspire?" and lets his hand fall to the knee. The Chinese bows low, and inquires "Have you eaten?" The German asks, "Wie gehts?" "How are you?" "How goes it with you?" and in bidding adieu, says, "Leben sie wohl." "Live well." The Spaniard, in bidding you good morning, says, "God be with you, sir," while the Neapolitan devoutly remarks "Grow in holiness." The Pole kisses the shoulder, and in farewell says, "Be ever well." In Hungary, they say, "May you remain well," or "God keep you well." A Frenchman may forgive you a pecuniary obligation, but he would hardly forgive you a nod in lieu of a bow in salutation; and for a gentleman to enter the presence of a lady without removing his hat, is sufficient cause for a duel. The French do not, however, shake hands as frequently as we do, and never upon being first introduced; and in leave-taking they say "au revoir," to meet again, or "adieu," which word has become decidedly anglicized. In Turkey, great attention is paid to salutations, and the arms are folded upon the breast, while the head is bent very low; while the Hindoos bend the head nearly to the ground.

The Moors of Morocco have a custom wholly their own; they ride at a gallop towards a stranger as though they would unhorse him, and when close at hand, draw in their fiery steed and fire a pistol over the person's head. When they would salute the Great Mogul, however, they first touch the earth with their right hand, then lay it upon their breast, then lift it to the sky; and these gestures are repeated three times in rapid succession. "How are you?" is a salutation which is not admissible in a slight acquaintance; and the reply "Very well, thank you," is only returned amongst intimate friends. But "Good morning" and "good-evening" are appropriate in any society. A bow, either on the street or in the parlor, should always accompany a salutation, and it should be both respectful and deferential, and not a mere nod of the head. A gentleman always removes his hat in the street instead of touching its brim, when bowing either to ladies or aged persons of his own sex; and he inclines the whole body, instead of simply jerking his neck. Ladies recognize their gentlemen friends with a bow of graceful inclination; and it is their place to bow first to those with whom their acquaintance is but slight, while with very intimate friends the recognition is frequently simultaneous.

A gentleman walking with a lady lifts his hat to every person, gentleman or lady, to whom the lady bows, as a mark of respect to her. A well-bred man will remove his cigar from his lips whenever he bows to a lady, or even if he passes a strange lady in a hotel or in the street.

If a gentleman should see a lady approaching a narrow crossing, or going up or down a staircase, he should lift his hat, and stand aside for her to pass.

A young lady should also show an equal degree of deference and attention to an elderly one, or to a lady in a higher position of society.

If a person of the lowest rank lifts his hat to you, always acknowledge it as courteously as if he were your equal. "A bow," says La Fontaine, "is a note drawn at sight; and if you acknowledge it, you must pay the full amount."

And it should be either respectful, cordial, familiar, civil, or affectionate, according to circumstances connected with the acquaintance. Avoid condescending bows, however, for they are always objectionable and offensive.

If you desire to converse with any one you meet, especially if a lady, do not stop them on the sidewalk, to the annoyance of others passing by, but turn round, and accompany them a few blocks or take leave at the next corner. It is never well to cut any one in the streets. A slight acquaintance should receive a passing notice; and it is absurd, because you have a trifling difference with a person, to avoid looking at them. Unless your quarrel is for life, always recognize one, even if it is done with cold civility.

Such slights are deeply felt; and men will sooner forget an injury than a cut.

A lady should always thank a gentleman for a friendly escort -- be it to a party, opera, theatre, or church.

Gratitude for services received should on all occasions be expressed in a few well-chosen words.

True etiquette requires the exercise of rational behavior at all times and in all places; and its rules are subject to all moral laws.

A church is a place to which, as a general rule, however, the etiquette of society is not applied; for though you would recognize your friends there, you would not often make introductions, nor give invitations to dinner parties, etc., nor enter into long conversations.

It is a holy place, wherein the arbitrary rules of society are not expected to enter; but politeness is always supposed to be present there.

It is strictly kind and polite to offer a stranger a seat in church, and also to proffer a prayer or hymn book; and, if the person is a lady, you should find the places for her in both.

If books are not plentiful, it is also an act of politeness for the stranger to offer you half of his book, and for you to accept the partial use of it.

Gentlemen always precede a lady in entering a church, concert-room, opera, or theatre, etc.; and by so doing they can more easily find a seat for the lady.

BBM coming to Android and iOS as early as this week, no exclusivity

An earlier report on Twitter from Samsung Nigeria confirmed that BlackBerry’s popular BBM messaging platform will be coming to Android and iOS quite soon.

Although it won’t be a three-month exclusive to Samsung as was initially speculated, BBM could hit Google Play and the iOS App Store as early as this Friday.
BBM Communications Director Victoria Berry had this to say on the impending launch:

“The excitement around the upcoming BBM launch on iPhone and Android devices seems to know no bounds. Although I’m a big fan of this passion, I want to clarify that no one will have an exclusive on offering BBM. We’ll be bringing the app to Android and iPhone users across the globe soon.”

BBM has long been a staple of BlackBerry’s messaging platform, allowing BlackBerry users to communicate between one another for free, but has until now been limited to BlackBerry devices. The latest incorporation of other mobile OS’s into BBM enables BlackBerry devices to become more accessible from other smartphone users, and possibly makes BlackBerry a bit more competitive.

Thanks to an anonymous tipster from gsmarena!

"BE COURTEOUS,"

"BE COURTEOUS," it is an apostolical injunction which we should ever bear in mind.

Let us train up our children to behave at home as we would have them act abroad; for we may be certain that, while they are children, they will conduct themselves abroad as they have been in the habit of doing, under similar circumstances at home.

The new version of Solomon's proverb is said to run thus: --

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will go on training." But it is open to several definitions.

Enter a home where the parents are civil and courteous towards all within the family circle -- whether guests or constant inmates -- and you will see that their children are the same; that good manners are learned quite as much by imitation as by fixed rules or principles.

Go into a family where the parents are rude, ill-bred and indulge in disputations and unkind remarks, and you will find the children are rough, uncouth and bearish.

Good manners are not merely conventional rules, but are founded upon reason and good sense and are, therefore, most worthy of the consideration of all; and there are many points of good-breeding which neither time nor place will ever change, because they are founded upon a just regard of man for man.

We frequently hear these questions asked: "Who is a lady? and who is a gentleman?"

The answers may be difficult to supply on account of the great difference of opinion in various classes of society, upon this subject.

Some would declare that position, advantageous surroundings, great riches, high birth, or superior intelligence and education, gave the requisites; but all of our readers know of persons who possess some one or more of these advantages, and yet they cannot lay true claims to this desirable and distinctive appellation.

Hence we frequently hear these words --

"Ah! she is no lady!" or, "Indeed, he is no gentleman!" applied to those whose standing is high; who possess much wealth; or are endowed with genius; but have neglected to add to their other advantages the touchstone of politeness and good-breeding.

Our reply to the question is that a well-bred lady is one who to true modesty and refinement, adds a scrupulous attention to the rights and feelings of those with whom she associates, whether they are rich or poor, and who is the same both in the kitchen or parlor. We recall the praise given by an Irishman to a friend of ours, when he said: --

"Troth an' indade ma'am, just as ye see her in the parlor, we sees her in the kitchen. Never a cross word passes her lips, be it to rich or poor, servant or friend." This is a high meed of praise -- and when a courtly address and ease of manner are added to it, we behold a true lady.

Can we answer the other question? We will try.

Whoever is true, loyal and sincere; whoever is of a humane and affable demeanor, and courteous to all; whoever is honorable in himself, and in his judgment of others, and requires no law but his word to hold him to his engagements; -- such a man is a gentleman, -- whether he be dressed in broadcloth and in fine linen or be clad in a blue homespun frock; -- whether his hands are white and soft, or hardened and stained with drudgery and toil.

This is a piece to all Nigeria parents and to the youths who are the potential parent of a future Nigeria. Do have a fulfilling week ahead

SPECIAL ADVICE TO MY FELLOW NIGERIAN YOUTH

Never by "monkeyish" or clownish -- attempting to introduce the manners of the "circus" into the home. Some rude boys seem to pride themselves upon their exhibitions of low, vulgar tricks, antic gestures, foolish jests and odd, slangy expressions.

Such low, shameful vulgarity may excite the laughter of foolish persons, "for the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness;" but no one possessing common sense can see such behavior without disgust and abhorrence. And every boy that acts the buffoon puts himself on a level with a clown, and lowers himself in the estimation of the good and the wise.

Be polite, respectful and modest to all, and especially to your elders and superiors. There is nothing more disgusting than a youth who assumes an air of disrespect and self-importance towards his superiors, equals, or inferiors.

Never stare people in the face. It is exceedingly impolite, and a certain mark of ill-breeding to stare idly at strangers or any one, as though you were entirely unused to seeing visitors. In conversing with any one, however, it is right to look him in the face, with cheerful, dignified and respectful assurance.

"Never jerk, twitch or slam doors or window blinds; but endeavor to be cautious and gentle in all your motions. No well-bred child will ever slam a door in anger, or even give it a strong twitch.

Never enter a house or parlor with your boots all mud and slush, or sit down with your hat or cap on.

Never go up and down stairs, or about the house, with the speed of a trotting horse and the tread of an elephant; step lightly, quickly, and orderly.

Never be rude and boisterous with your young friends. You can share in all kinds of sports, and yet never lose the command of yourself so as to become hoydenish and bold. Avoid loud screaming and rude merriment. I Remember back in secondary school days when am really into Williams Shakespeare. I can still recall what Lear says of Cordelia:

"Her voice was ever sweet, gentle and low; an excellent thing in woman."

If in our Nigerian society or better still in our individualized families we learn to be always courteous -- always conciliatory -- always well-bred -- we should find that we had gained an immeasurable amount of happiness. and am totally optimistic that Nigeria will be greater this way.

Negligence and carelessness with regard to the little amenities of life, are the fruitful source of much domestic unhappiness. "Good manners are to the family, what good morals are to society, their cement and their security."

I ask permission to end this piece with a borrowed poem. Have a splendid weekend ahead.

"Alas! we think not that we daily see

About our hearths -- angels that are to be,

Or may be if they will, and we prepare

Their souls and ours to meet in happy air --

A child, a friend, a wife whose soft heart sings

In unison with ours, breeding its future wings."

being human- the etiquette

Humans often speak of good manners as an accomplishment. I speak of them as a duty. What, then, are good manners? Such manners as the usages of society have recognized as being agreeable to human. Such manners as take away rudeness, and remit to the brute creation all coarseness. There are a great many who feel that good manners are effeminate. They have a feeling that rude bluntness is a great deal more manly than good manners. It is a great deal more beastly. But when human are crowded in communities, the art of living together is no small art. How to diminish friction; how to promote ease of intercourse; how to make every part of a one's life contribute to the welfare and satisfaction of those around him; how to keep down offensive pride; how to banish the rasping of selfishness from the intercourse of men; how to move among men inspired by various and conflictive motives, and yet not have collisions -- this is the function of good manners.

Not only is the violation of good manners inexcusable on ordinary grounds, but it is sinful. When, therefore, parents and guardians and teachers would inspire the young with a desire for the manners of good society, it is not to be thought that they are accomplishments which may be accepted or rejected. Every man is bound to observe the laws of politeness (and when I say "man" I mean both males n females) It is the expression of good-will and kindness. It promotes both beauty in the man who possesses it, and happiness in those who are about him. It is a religious duty, and should be a part of religious training.

There is a great deal of contempt expressed for what is called etiquette in society. Now and then there are elements of etiquette which perhaps might well be ridiculed; but in the main there is a just reason for all those customs which come under the head of etiquette. There is a reason which as regard to facility of intercourse. There is a reason in the avoidance of offense. There is a reason in comfort and happiness. And no man can afford to violate these unwritten customs of etiquette who wishes to act as a human being.

My name is WILLIAMS and I am inspired to relate my own piece of mind to the World. Welcome to my WORLD. Welcome to WYNDYLATION